Are You Ready For A Boyfriend?
How do you know when the time is right? Though current society and the media tend to portray boyfriends as “not a big deal”, they kind of are. We take singleness for granted. But, even if you don’t have anyone knocking on your door, waiting to give you flowers, how do you know if you’re ready for it to happen?
From what I’ve experienced and observed in life, there are three stages you could possibly be in:
Not Ready, But Open
Ready, But Not Open
Ready AND Open
Let’s uncover them together.
Not Ready, But Open
You’re definitely not ready for a boyfriend. You know this. You don’t have to take quizzes or ask your friends because the answer is obvious. Perhaps, you’re not ready due to financial issues, emotional issues, or spiritual issues.
If someone asked you, “Could you handle a boyfriend right now?”, your honest answer would be, “Of course not.”
HOWEVER, if a guy asked you out, you’d say, ”yes”, in a heartbeat.
You’re not ready at all. But, you’re willing to accept. In fact, you’re willing to initiate and pursue.
Why is that?
Honestly, for each person, it’s a different reason. But, it definitely comes from your childhood experiences. You have to sit back and objectively analyze yourself.
When did you ever throw yourself into something serious without taking the proper amount of time to prepare?
For example: You were too young/scared to be visiting your father after the divorce, but you went for it anyway. And ever since then, you’ve been launching yourself into situations that you’re not ready for.
Though the consequences of being Not Ready, But Open are sometimes positive (when tackling jobs and opportunities that come your way), they can be disastrous when it comes to relationships.
Ready, But Not Open
You are ready to have a boyfriend. You are ready to be financially successful. You are inches away from overcoming your deepest issues.BUT, you are not open to any of this happening.
You look for reasons why you shouldn’t do something, even when you’re completely prepared for it to happen.
Afraid to Be Happy (click ME) is DEFINITELY going on here.
You want good things to happen to you. You are prepared for good things to happen to you.
HOWEVER, you’re not open when a good thing comes along.
Why is that?
Looking back to your childhood, did you ever prepare for something, only to have it taken away from you by something that was out of your control?
For example: You saved $100 of your allowance only to have someone break into your room and steal your piggy bank. Since then, you’ve never saved again. You spend every check, every source of income as soon as you receive it.
Though the consequences of being Ready, But Not Open are sometimes positive (like being able to easily say “no” to peer pressure, douchebags, and jerks), it can still be disastrous to relationships—when you find yourself saying, “No thank you,” to Mr. Right.
Ready AND Open
You’re pretty prepared (emotionally, financially, and spiritually). You’re on track for where you currently want to be in life. And you’re open to opportunities as they come.
Those deep psychological, childhood problems are being resolved.
You know when to be closed (to guys that are bad for you) and when to be open (to guys that deserve a chance).
I haven’t met a lot of Ready AND Open people. Usually, we fall into the other two categories. It takes wisdom, time, patience, and experience to be both Ready AND Open.
We’re all reaching towards being Ready AND Open. Which stage are you at right now?
(Source: blush-on)
8:41 am • 21 March 2012
“
Oh, no — another lament on the single life.
This could very well be me, rolling around in my bed late at night, trying to put the crackers down so I don’t have a really sad moment with Ritz… Or it could be you, scanning the Internet and wondering why writers are straight up tripping about this dating stuff all the time. Blame the relationship statuses on Facebook!
”
— A. Nugent
(Source: blush-on)
9:09 pm • 3 February 2012
“I’m not stressed out because I’m single. I’m stressed out by the idea that it’s becoming painfully obvious that by having a mostly-formed life, interests, opinions and requirements, that it’s quite possible I’ll never find someone who both fits in the space and wants to make an effort to stay in it. I’ve never been good at faith, but I have to believe that somewhere out there is someone for me. And until I find that someone, I just have to keep working towards making my life what I want without them. For as much as I’d like to share my life with someone, my lack of having them cannot be a driving force as long as there is still so much out there to do.”
— Alison Berge
(Source: blush-on)
9:56 am • 1 February 2012 • 1 note
Getting Your Life Together
JAN. 30, 2012
By RYAN O’CONNELL
You’ve been sad for a long time now. 30 days, six months, four years. You know it. Your friends might know it. Your parents certainly don’t know it. Every day you wake up hoping and praying that something will change. It can’t be the weather or the location. You’ve already tried to change those but it was all done in vain. You learned that you were just as miserable when you were surrounded by palm trees as you were in a blizzard. Isn’t that a cruel joke? Ha. Ha. (Shh, no one is laughing.)
No, no, it needs to be something much bigger than that, something you’ve never experienced before, that will make you return back to normal. You’ve already tried all your usual tricks and they failed you miserably. Desperately, you rummaged through your “Things That Make Me Happy” bag and came up short. Whaaaaaaaaaat?! This has never happened before! You don’t quite understand how you could still feel so low after you ran for five miles at the gym, had the best date of your life, and climaxed around two in the morning.
You must need some moment of clarity, some divine intervention that will put you back on course. But, um, hello, when will that come? You’ve been waiting for months now and things just keep getting worse. Moments of clarity must not be very punctual. They like to take their sweet time, don’t they?
You know one thing for certain though. You can’t have another year like the one you just had. You honestly don’t have it in you. The fight is gone. You just have to start resigning yourself to the fact that this is how things are and you can’t strive for anything better. Lock yourself in your room and listen to sad music in bed. Become comfortably uncomfortable. Think to yourself “This is it. My life will be like this forever. I’ll watch others pass me by and get married while I’m sitting on my couch watching episodes of 30 Rock. So sad but oh well!” There’s almost a relief in giving up. You spent so long trying to fight off what was going to overtake you anyway. It feels good to finally just let it win. You want me, sadness? You got me.
Then it happens. You have the change, the coveted moment of clarity. Maybe it arrives right after you have a fun night out or lay in bed with someone till two in the afternoon or go home to your parents for a long weekend. Whatever it is, it makes you realize that this is the realest thing that has happened to you since forever. Pathetic, right? You used to always have moments like this, moments when you felt plugged in and like an active participant in your own life. Now every moment you have just feels like a dull blade that’s poking against your skin, trying to draw blood but ultimately failing to make any kind of impact.
This acts as a jolt of electricity and brings you back to life. It reminds you of what you’re capable of having and, more importantly, what you deserve to have. It teaches you that you need to respect yourself. Your mind and body aren’t a garbage can and you have to start taking care of them. You have to be a doting parent who waters the plants.
Maturity often develops over time, but in some instances, it can quite literally happen overnight. It’s not necessarily about hitting a rock bottom. You don’t have to be crying in the middle of the day for no reason, or sleeping with the 400th person who doesn’t mean a thing to you, or freebasing heroin in an alleyway to realize you need to get your life together. It can happen when the bad things are still subtle, when the choppy waves are chafing against your skin but not swallowing you whole. Things don’t always have to get worse before they get better. Sometimes they can just stay regular run of the mill “ugh.”
Who knows what your life will look like in ten years? It’s pointless to think about it. All you have to remember is that you don’t have to resign yourself to anything. You don’t have to be lying on your couch while everyone moves on without you. Instead, you can just DVR that episode of 30 Rock and leave with everyone else.
(Source: blush-on)
6:40 am • 31 January 2012 • 3 notes
Who Will Love the Girl…
I haven’t fallen in love yet. I’m only eighteen, still a baby, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting it so badly.
As my second semester of college comes around the corner, I cannot help but think “will he be in this room?”, as I walk into new classes; a clean slate, they don’t know me and I don’t know them.
Believe it when it’s said, I’m not desperate nor do I need a boyfriend. Believe it when it’s said, I just want to know what it feels like, to have someone in which you can be 100% yourself, that will love all your flaws as you love his or hers.
You see i am a sucker for books, and sappy stories, though I do not like showing it. Both happy endings and tragic endings appeal to me because the characters in stories always feel something nonetheless. Dreaming is all I have ever known.
So I’m terrified that I’ll be one of those girls who never falls in love because it hasn’t happened yet. I’m also terrified that I’ll be one of those girls who falls for anyone just to see if love could be found there.
Who will love the girl who loves getting lost in a book,
chasing those fantasies that only exist in her mind?
Who will love the girl who suddenly gets quiet because she got a bad vibe,
so it ruins her whole day?
Who will love the girl who gets lost is her train of thoughts and will never be able to tell you why she got lost in the first place?
Who will love the girl who yearns for those midnight talks about life and what it has to bring?
Who will love the girl?
I know that I’m not the only one out there who feels this way. Younger, older, wiser: there are many of us. It’s a scary concept, love, but I still want to feel it.
-L.C
(Source: blush-on)
7:56 am • 25 January 2012
